I woke up this morning, thinking: "So this is when life starts".
I've realized that some of the things I desperately wanted for years, I do not want anymore. Things I've felt bad about not having, I do not care for them anymore. I do not wish to have them.
Now, left without that craving - what do I really want? I'm not sure. I don't care about certain things anymore. Things that used to be the only thing I had. The best thing I had. Now it might all be fading away, but that's not the worst part - if you would call it bad - no, the worst part is that I do not mind that they're slipping. It's just not that very appealing anymore, to have that.
I guess it's like falling out of love. It's just not something you need anymore.
But, fuck.
Then what is it I need? What is it I want?
I do not know anymore.
01 September 2008
Life?
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I think that's a question we're all trying to answer. I don't think anyone ever figures out what they truly want. Sometimes we think we know, until we get it. Desires change, hopes and dreams come and go. I guess that's what always keeps us going. If we got everything we wanted, what would be left to strive for.
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