You know what I hate?
Homophobia, racism and animal torture - but that's not what I'm going at here.
It's when I'm unintentionally - or intentionally? - cut off from the outside world. More precisely; when people fail to stay in touch with me.
I get paranoid very easily, living in Sweden, so far away from it all. This has never been where I want to be, this has never been where I belong. But I have to cope for the time being. So I do my best to interact with the other side, across oceans and skies. But every now and then, there's a pause in the interaction and I'm left alone in a sulky town in this end of the world.
I know that people can't prioritize me, and I've never asked for that. But I appreciate keeping contact. And I've always been a confirmation-whore, I'm the first one (and the only one) to say it.
I'm terrified to be forgotten, that's the truth. The greatest fear is being trapped and if I lose all my links I'm left disoriented. Because I know myself how hard it can be to connect with a person that you never see, and sporadic contact won't last forever. Most people have never even met me. How easy is it to grip a relation like that? You tell me.
The reason I bring this up now is because lately people have not kept their word. This is not about someone here in these blog-areas, I might mention. It's other people who promised certain things but decided to blow me off. It seems that everyone is just distancing themselves, without further notice. I'm just so sick of people ignoring me.
So for the love of the devil - don't forget about me! I hope you, all of you, will continue to interact with me, make my days brighter - it's because of you I stay hopeful and dreaming.
28 April 2008
Helpless
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2 comments:
I have really enjoyed getting to know you, as little as we can get to know someone over the web. I look forward to you actually coming to California.
I think we all feel forgotten from time to time. I sometimes feel that way, even with people that actually live nearby. I guess we just have to realize, that those that choose to forget us, sometimes aren't worth us trying to make them remember.
Time has a way of revealing people's true feelings. So just give it time, whatever it is that is bothering you. Maybe whoever it is that you feel has forgotten you has a lot going on. Just hope for the best, and know that whatever happens it doesn't reflect on who you are.
Thank you April, that's some good advise and wise words. I appreciate it. You're my favorite internet-friend. Haha, really, I've been thinking about it and you are. :)
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